Let’s Talk about Sex



     Hold up, before you get too excited you dirty bird, we’re not talking about the hot, nasty, beautiful, intimate extravaganza of raw passion that we engage in with our soul mates, people we have mistaken for soul mates, or the occasional (or not so occasional) stranger. No, let’s instead discuss gender identity and the enormous controversy surrounding it today. *The sounds of tires coming to a screeching halt, and records scratching falls over the reader.* It’s a far less exciting topic than the latter, but nonetheless it needs to be addressed, so I'm sorry if I killed your boner (or lady boner). The debate on gender identity, which basically encompasses whether or not someone can pick and choose their genetic composition, is one of the forefront topics in this country and it has been in vicious cycle of facts vs feelings for quite some time now. It’s a complex animal to begin dissecting though because some of the ideas about being who you truly want to be and the freedoms to do so are valid, and some are absolute trash that are so masked in the idea of total inclusion and acceptance that it becomes devoid of all reason and logic. So the real question is, is there a middle ground that can be reached between what we know scientifically and biologically about the two genders and how people emotionally identify their gender?



     Let’s start with some of the basic differences between men and women. Women have XX chromosomes and Men have XY chromosomes. Men and women have different sexual organs, so that they can reproduce. Females can carry and give birth to a child while males cannot. No shit, right?! All of the aforementioned facts used to be taught in 6th grade sex ed classes across the nation, but now that proven scientific information is being called false as if it were a theory, if that were the case then there would be wiggle room for discussion, but it is not a theory it’s a cold hard fact. People are now saying that gender is not a duality but a fluid state of consciousness that has basically no limitation or restriction on what people can be at any given time. Interesting hypothesis, but just in case you were wondering, that’s fucking incorrect on a multitude of levels. If you’re saying that it's all fine and dandy for a person to change their state of being whenever they choose, then you are encouraging mental illness i.e. multiple personality disorder (a documented mental illness that requires treatment). Some of you just became undeniably furious at that last statement, but worry not my social justice warriors, I can assure you, you won't be alone by the end of this article. Here's the problem with the idea of being "fluid", there is nothing backing the argument for gender fluidity besides emotion, and as hard as it may be for some people to hear, facts always trump emotions. However, we cannot ignore that this is an extremely emotional topic because we're talking about people who are, at a base level, asking to simply be accepted and loved even though they don’t fit the traditional mold that we’ve become accustomed to living amngst, and just like we’ve done a million times before, we’ve turned to the government for a solution and the whole thing has turned into a goddamn circus.



     Whenever the answer to a question isn’t quite cut and dry in these United States of ours, we tend to ask our almighty and omnipotent politicians for a solution, and in this case a solution to a very personal and intimate problem that they have no business being involved in. Remember how eloquently and and expediently the government dealt with gay people wanting to get married? The simple fact that we wouldn’t recognize two people of the same sex wanting to spend their lives together is fucking absurd. On top of that, it took nearly five decades for straight people to get swayed enough by politicians to vote that right into existence across all fifty states. For fifty fucking years people opposed gay marriage based on an argument rooted purely in Christianity. And they would uphold their opposition with a universal justification, “In the Bible it is written that marriage is a holy union between a man and woman in the eyes of God.” And it does say that, but no one ever seemed to give a shit about heterosexual atheists, agnostics, people of literally any other religion, or even satanists that were getting hitched while not being united in the eyes of the Lord, and that’s kind of an odd double standard. What it really boils down to is the fact that homosexuality is not the norm in our culture and it makes some people really uncomfortable, which is understandable based on your upbringing. Homosexuality even angers some people, as a matter of fact, it angers some so deeply and passionately that they feel the need to take it upon themselves to make sure that they have the ability to suppress someone else's love life. If you happen to be one of those people then you can suck all of the dicks, or don’t. See that’s the beauty, no one is forcing you to, no one should be forcing their own life choices on to anyone. Who gives a damn about how someone gets their rocks off, as long as their not hurting anyone? For example, If some dude wants so paint his dick purple and let vagrants and hobos slap his balls around with a ping pong paddle, while in the privacy of his own home, then more power to him. And thankfully we’ve progressed enough as a society to let people express their inner freaks with like minded individuals to their hearts content. But why is it so hard to do that very same thing with the idea of people having freedom with their genders. Well, it’s because of that shit show circus mentioned earlier, both political parties picked a side on this topic, exploited the fuck out of it (and transgenders), and shoved it down everyone’s throats rather than just letting people live their lives.



     While trying to remain somewhat impartial on the topic of something so biased, it has to be said that the Democratic Party has royally shit the bed when it comes to helping transgender people progress in today’s society. They’ve made a mockery out of their own argument and people’s individual identities, by going as far as stating that if you don’t agree that gender is a choice then you’re a bigot. That’s a pretty hateful and exclusive word from some people who claim to be all about love and support. But here’s the real deal, if you were born a man and it puts a big old smile on your face to dress up as a woman, then good for you. If you have no idea what gender you want to be, then by all means, take a non-binary time out and discover thy own self before you start playing musical chairs with your mental state. If you feel so uncomfortable in your skin that you’ve thought about killing yourself, because you honest to goodness feel like you were born into the wrong body and you want a sex change, then please do it. The pursuit of happiness is something we are all entitled to get up and go after, but if someone doesn’t know you personally, and isn’t familiar with your struggle, then don’t expect them to give a shit about you, what you want, or if they referred to you as the wrong pronoun. Sounds brutal right? That’s because life is fucking brutal. No matter who you are, who you want to be, or what you want to be life is going to continually kick the dog shit out of you, and you have to keep on getting up and kicking back. If a major road block towards your future is the fact that you are offended at the fact that someone chooses to disagree with your way of living, then you need to toughen the actual fuck up and get a little grit in your teeth, or else you’re not going to make it.



     In conclusion, you live in the land of the free, start fucking acting like it. Get up, keep your nose on your own grindstone, look out for your own family, and stop concerning yourselves with other people’s business. Because as long as we keep blurring the lines between acceptance and tolerance then progress will remain a pipe dream, and we will never find that sweet spot of cohesion we all want so badly.

                                                               Both of the Devils Hands

     Anoter midterm election has come and gone in this glorious country of ours, and we seem to be in the midst of the same “my party should have won” temper tantrums that we find ourselves in far too often. The Left is accusing the Right of voter fraud, and the Right is eloquently responding by calling them snowflakes. The Left is saying the country is doomed under this current administration, and the Right is saying that we’ve never been looking towards a more prosperous future. The Left is claiming that the Right is a bunch of racist Neanderthals responsible for the majority of hate crimes in this country, but the Right is saying that they are doing everything they can to keep this country safe while maintaining racial equality. With all of these statements being thrown around, what say you? What does the American citizen that all of these politicians work for have to say? How the fuck do you feel? And I’m not asking how does your party feel or what are they saying? I’m asking you as a rational and developed human being with your own deductive reasoning skills. How do you feel about the direction of your country?

     It’s no secret that in the United States there are two major political parties, the Democrats and the Republicans. To put it into the most basic of all definitions, they both exist to serve the people based on what the people vote for, but unfortunately they don’t really live up to that expectation. Instead, they seem to create their own agendas and use smooth talking representatives to convince their supporters that whatever new agenda they are pushing, it is most certainly for the greater good. Some of these representatives are so goddamn good at their jobs that they can coerce people into thinking that the agenda has always been a part of their own personal belief structure, and disagreeing with this ideal is grounds for exclusion from the group, making it easier to gain support for whatever they fucking want. These guys and gals are mental sales reps of epic proportions. They’re basically billionaire telemarketers that are selling you your future via shitty and heavily biased TV commercials. They are the greatest illusionists on the planet. They’ve driven us to believe that we are limited by one side or the other, that we the people are incapable of leading ourselves at all, and most of all they’ve limited our vision to fifty percent, by giving us two methods of American perception.

      Now let me dial it back a smidge real quick. I’m not about to start spitting some crazy “one world order / Illuminati” conspiracy type of fuckery at you. That’s not me, I like to keep my shit firmly planted in the realm of reality. However, what I am going to address from here on out in this article might cause, you the reader, to get very upset at me. And that’s fucking ok! It’s alright to read something that you don’t agree with as long as you learn from it or gain perspective. It’s perfectly fine to step out of your comfort zone and expand your horizons. There will be parts of this piece where I’ll be writing on both parties defense as the Devil’s Advocate, but I sincerely implore you to put logic in front of emotion and read until the end.

     I was raised in a very conservative Christian household, and I’m very grateful for the character traits that my parents instilled upon me by bringing me up with a certain and specific set of rules and beliefs. I’m honest, empathetic, rational, and yet still very flawed, (I had to add that last part because I’m also humble). My parents did an incredible job of raising me with an intrigue to challenge everything and learn for myself. They would encourage me to find my own answers to my own questions and give me the guidance to do so. Except for when it came to politics. Both of my parents were always readily able to give me an exact (and very republican answer) to any political question that I had growing up. Now through my 25 years of life I’ve developed my own world view and my own outlook on politics, but I’m still very conservative in a lot of ways. For example, my hands get clammy and my fists clench anytime I hear people crying about how much we need gun control, and you can kindly kiss my whole ass if you feel offended by that. Also, I fucking love Ted Nugent! And last but not least, just the very sight of Old Glory gives me a rock hard boner that unyieldingly reaffirms my belief and support in the Constitution of the United States! *author takes break and shotguns beer* But on the other hand, I have some other beliefs that are very liberal. I believe that marijuana should be decriminalized, taxed, and sold in licensed shops all over the Fifty Sates to anyone over the age of twenty-one that wants it, because it’s less dangerous than alcohol and you can fight me in the streets if you disagree. I believe that gay marriage being legalized was one the best things we’ve ever done because the government should have little to no role in our love lives anyway. I have certain views on abortion that would probably turn an average bible thumper into a picketing member of the Westborough Baptist Church faster than they could say “Ignorance.” A lot of people get very frustrated with me when I express these views of mine. The most common thing I hear is “You’re contradicting yourself.” But I’m not, I’m contradicting the two political parties, and I’m looking outside and in between my pre-determined limits.

     I’m not dogging on anyone that is either a Conservative or a Democrat, but what I am saying is that if you can only infer your rationale from one of the two parties, while refusing to accept anything that the other has to say regardless of merit, then you need to re-evaluate your mental state. You have a brilliant mind, that which given the proper freedoms for you to explore it, you’ll see that there is so much more to your life than choosing between donkeys and elephants. You can in fact have your cake and eat it too. You don’t have to live your life in the grasps of either of the Devils hands.

Desensitized  

      What a time to be alive, we're right in the middle of tomorrow's history lesson. We are eighteen years deep into the twenty-first century, and what kind of legacy are we leaving for ourselves? We've made technological advancements in my lifetime that my grandparents would have deemed impossible. We've come leaps and bounds in the fields of medicine and science. We've even changed how we view religion in this country. We've come so far in fact, that some people might say this is the New America, or are in strong favor of the idea of a new cornerstone of beliefs, ideals, and principles all together. However, I'm not here to address that hot button topic (at least not in this particular piece). I'm writing this because I feel like all of the advancements we have made will be overshadowed by our current state of self-destruction if we're not careful .

   
     We are a generation raised on MTV and skewed beliefs. We are the product of the highest divorce rate in the world. We were taught out of history books that were biased and shallow to keep us sheltered from the truth. We are overexposed yet desensitized at the same damn time. We are no longer the leaders of tomorrow, it's now our turn in the driver's seat, and so far our trial by fire is not going well. We are at a point of such political, economic, racial, and social unrest that it almost feels like we are a few horseman short of the apocalypse. This is a painful and undeniable truth that we are faced with every time we unlock our phones and look into the vast void of social media and news outlets. We see the problems, we tweet prayers and thoughts, but we sit on our hands when it comes to providing and executing a solution.  

   
     We seem to have seem to have watered down our empathy for one another so much that it just became apathy, from there it became nihilism, and then it erupted into violence when those who felt ignored refused to be silent any longer. When our streets and our homes were on fire or our neighbors and loved ones were caught up in this upheaval, this turmoil, we reached out and loved deeply, for a moment. Then we were forced as we always have been to take sides, and shun any of the middle men. There's no room for mediation when there's money to be made on either side. So we fight, and we fight, my side has a black eye and yours a bloody lip, but neither of our minds are changed, and with stomachs full of vigor we'll return to hash it out again tomorrow. 

    Divided we WILL fall, and believe me, we drift further and further from unity everyday. If we as a generation want to leave anything to our children besides bullshit philosophical ideals, and far-fetched notions of what being free really means, then its time to toughen the fuck up. It's time to look at the world we've inherited deep in its unrighteous and hateful eyes and fix it. No one has ever whined themselves into an effective solution.   

     I'm not here to preach the idea of world peace, because as long as the nature of man remains, then peace will forever be periods in time that are viciously fought for by those who truly yearn for it. I'm not here to say that we need to all come together and sing Kumbaya, for we there will always be people cut from different cloths. What I am here to say, is that it's time to remove the blinders and look out on to this mess we've made. Take a moment and reflect on our trail of beauty and destruction, let the pain of the mistakes we've made and the ideals of acceptance that bread hate touch our souls, then turn around and make it better. 

  

   

                                                              The Earth is Round and Other Lies

   I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of being absolutely certain that you are the smartest person in a room, but it’s as self indulgent as it is awesome. However, I was recently afforded the opportunity to be the smartest person out a group of thousands. I’m aware of how much of an asshole that makes me sound like, but it was in fact an enormous burden. The people that I was towering over with such mental prowess were none to be proud of, these people should be feared because they are just as dangerous to our society as they are inept to literally everything around them. These people are a serious threat to our way of life, our gene pool, and any hope for a prosperous future. This group of people that I’m referring to is a horrifying collective known as The Flat Earth Society.



   As any aspiring young journalist would do, I heard of the Society and knew that the world needed to be educated about this atrocity that walks among us. So I decided to infiltrate and become one of them. I felt like Huntrer S. Thompson when he wrote his famous piece about the Hells Angels. I was introduced and inducted into their ranks by an unnamed source who was also trying to gain knowledge about the Flat Earth Society so that we could bring these guys down once and for all. Once I was inside and I had gained their trust, I was lured into a world of such depravity and degradation that I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. I was introduced to a group of knuckle dragging fuck wagons whose mission it is to spread their own Gospel that the Earth we live on is indeed flat and not round, which is quite a prospect for a bunch of people that never finished middle school.

Now obviously the Flat Earth society is not anything that we actually need to fear, I just threw in a little satire to grab your attention, because honestly who in their right minds wants to entertain any notion that the Earth is flat? In all seriousness though, I was added to a group on Facebook called the Flat Earth Society via a friend of mine who was already trolling them, and he invited me so that I could join in on the fun of arguing with people who don’t believe in science and justify their beliefs by nonsense. I was unaware of how much fun I was about to have with these people’s fragile minds. Until, I started reading through the feeds of riveting discussions that these ball sacks were having with each other. Comments such as “What made you believe in flat earth?” Which would ensue a magnitude of responses encompassing everything from Jesus to YouTube, and it was at this time I knew that I was embarking on a journey on which I would be doing the Lord’s work.

  
   Before I knew it I was engulfed into the midsts of some of the most unintentional comedy gold I have ever witnessed. Every question that begged for proof of the Earth being flat was met with a diverse multitude of answers, but there were three major backings to this fairy tale theory. First, we have the “God created the Earth as a flat plane and there’s a missing book to the Bible that can prove it” ass hats. Then, we have the “There is no God but scientists are also just paid liars, so we are just atheists without a cause” Renegade group of fuck sticks. And finally, we have the “I’m a failed product of the public school system, and my parents never paid enough attention to my browser history” knuckle fucking scourge of the Earth group. Thankfully for the contents of this story, each group was as hell bent on denying reason as I can imagine their families are hesitant to invite these walking disappointments anywhere.

  
   So first up, we have the Flat God people. I began my exploration into this sect of this dumb ass cult by explaining that I was introduced to the life changing theory of a flat Earth by none other than Lucifer himself. Minds were not only blown, they were obliterated. I had spilled the brains of many a neck beard with that statement. They came at me with a fury of religious intolerance so fierce, for a brief moment I thought I was an ancient harlot. They shouted messages of shame and disappointment at me from the hilltops (of course by that I mean they typed with a ferocity on their mother’s basement computer so intense, I swear I could smell their Mountain Dew and hot Cheeto breath coming through the ether), and boy did they tell me. They educated me on the book of Enoch, the missing book from the Old Testament that conveniently describes that the Earth is Flat. They told me how wrong I was for believing that God would make us live under the prison of gravity on a globe. And after I learned that these people had never passed Junior High, I decided to see how stupid they really were. I began using phrases such as “frisbee of despair”, “Jesus God made frisbee home”, “The moon is an illusion created by light refraction, Satan, and a lack of faith” amongst many more and these flat Earth disciples were loving me for “spreading the word”. I then took it a step further and began quoting Tupac lyrics as scripture, and low and behold no one fact checked me, they just took it to heart and once again thanked me. That means there are people with poor hygiene skills and a deficit of friends walking around telling people that in Deuteronomy 40:2 Jesus said “So we live like caged beasts, waiting for the day to let the rage free, still me till the kill me, I love when they fear me” and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I thought my job was done after trolling the Flat Bible morons, but my work was far from over.

  
   Now enter the atheist conspiracy lunatics. These shit birds deny creationism and science all at the same time, while still remaining just as fucking stupid as that sounds. They’re not sure where we came from but they’re certain the Earth is flat and that Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Elon Musk, or anyone that has a shred of scientific proof against them are liars being paid by the One World Order to keep them down. Now you might ask, “Wouldn’t it be more productive for this angsty bunch to stop circle jerking each other off while reciting Limp Bizket lyrics and find some proof that the Earth is indeed flat?” Well yes it would! But unfortunately, they cannot because the United States Military is guarding all the proof they need, the Firmament. The Firmament is a giant glacier wall that goes around the entire perimeter of the flat Earth, and if found would prove their theory. In case you were unaware, there are currently thousands of US Marines deployed to the Firmament with guidance to kill anyone that even tries to get close. So unfortunately these virgin Boy Scouts aren’t going to be getting their merit badge for exploration anytime soon.



  
   Finally, there were people that were just plain fucking stupid for no good damn reason. So stupid in fact, that I thought they may have been fellow trolls, but upon investigating their profile pictures, I was able to determine (yes, by judging them completely based on their appearance) that sadly they were not trolls. They were just a bunch of people who shouldn’t be allowed to breed, but most of them in fact are, like rabbits I might add, and home schooling their little dumb ass kids based on a “Flat Earth Curriculum”, yep that’s a real thing I didn’t make that up. I didn’t make any of this up! This consumed four days of my life, in which I read and heard some of the most mind numbing garbage, from some of the worlds most readily available labatomy patients, yet there was one comment that infuriated me more than all the others. A man was seeking answers regarding how the sun appears to come up and go down even though we don’t actually revolve around it. His words not mine. I told him that in the book of Leviticus it states that “The sun may rise in the East, at least it’s settled in a final location.” Just in case you’re unaware, that is not scripture, that’s lyrics from Red Hot Chili Peppers “Californication”. A fairly well known song by people that don’t live with their heads firmly inserted in their own asses, but this man was amongst the ass hat community. He had the audacity to respond by saying “I don’t think that’s the Bible, I’m pretty sure that’s the Foo Fighters.” No it certainly is fucking not you genetic mishap.



  
   Eventually, my cover was blown and they blocked me from the Flat Earth Society. The golden age of my trolling empire was over. All in all, it was an eye opening and slightly disheartening experience to how sheepish some people truly are, but it was also fucking hilarious and so worth it. I hope you had as much fun laughing at these dip shits as I did, and I hope you’re not offended by how malicious I was in my descriptions of these turd burglars, but anyone that wants to believe the Earth is flat for any reason whatsoever, can kindly sit and twist on their own ideals and beliefs.

Manufacturing Addiction 

    The drug culture is the most widely recieved taboo in all the world. It is a place where addiction and acceptance hold hands and dance in the moon light. If you’re in the right crowd and on the right shit, they fade into each other. Suddenly being fucked up is normal and that’s where the magic of drugs begins. Drugs are the tangible aspects of what our dreams are made of, they are the warm feeling in our stomachs, they are the confidence we lack in the day to day, they are that which we cannot be, they are the fill to our void. But drugs can be evil, they can be controlling, and they can be the ultimate thief. They will kill that which they helped create. Drugs are threatening, everywhere, and overall they are fucking amazing. Which is precisely why we are in the predicament that we are in now 

   For those who haven’t heard or those that  can count their lucky stars, because they haven’t been affected by this demon in some way or another, we are in the worst heroin epidemic in recent history. Heroin finds itself inside of a new vein everyday, and these are not just the veins of the junkies with the “I need money for dope” signs that you’ve become accustomed to seeing on your drive to work. This epidemic is your son, your daghter, your niece and your nephew who are burning sooons in your basement as we speak. This cancer is in our families and at the rate we are battling it, we will never cure it.

   We have been fighting this beast for decades in America, and we have never so much as drawn blood on this animal, but that’s what happens when you fight the devil with legislation. The laws fail because there’s no jurisdiction on the selfish needs of man. Take a look at our insane timeline of the government trying to “take action against the evil drugs, and keep America clean.” We criminalized alcohol in the 1920’s through prohibition because of a political agenda, and  that caused bootleggers and organized crime to become empires in this country. We criminalized weed in the 1930’s because of a political agenda and a hearty portion of racism. That caused a dangerously violent black market for this wonderful plant to emerge in America. Fast forward to the early 1970’s and we have the infamous, “War on Drugs.” One of the most embarrassing political failures of all time that actually made the drug problem even worse. This shit caused massive tensions between the American population and the police that still exists today. The arrest rate for both violent and non-violent drug charges shot through the fucking roof, and subsequently our incarceration rate went to the goddamn moon. The War on Drugs caused racial tension that has never subsided. It put the all powerful eye of the media on drugs and made them even more widely accessible. Drugs were more widely talked about in music and tv than ever before, and it peaked the interest of those hearing about it. “If the ads say it’s so bad why do people keep doing it?” “It must feel amazing!” “Yeah, I’d never do it though.” Through all of this over saturation of a hypocritical anti drug movement, the “wet paint syndrome” took hold and people started using left and right.

   By the late 1980’s the War on Drugs was in full swing, and the drug of choice was crack (mainly), and the number of people doing it  was astronomical. If you don’t know the difference between crack cocaine and cocaine, I guess you’ve never watched a 90’s crime drama or listened to a hip-hop record. I’m just kidding, most people actually don’t know the difference. Cocaine is a drug derived from the coca leaf by a process of extraction and chemical treatments that (in short) creates the magic go dust that is beloved by so many coke snorters world wide. Crack on the other hand is basically just cocaine mixed with water and baking soda, and it is generally smoked instead of snorted and gets the user all sorts of fucked up. Now this new drug crack was an economic wet dream for the dealer and the user. See the dealer can cut his pure cocaine with other ingredients and stretch his product further, opposed to just selling raw product. And for the user, well except for the overwhelming addiction and degenerate lifestyle that comes from being a junkie, they had it made in the shade because crack is cheaper than straighr coke for two reasons. First, it’s way more addictive and that’s generally because it’s freebased, (smoked via glass pipe, soda can, aluminum foil, anyhing really) so that means the user is most likely a life long customer to their dealer. Second, the high is fucking outrageous, supposedly that is, just watch any episode of cops EVER and you be the judge. But the people making the real money off this shit was the cartels in Mexico, and that brings us almost up to date.

   I won’t go into great detail about the cartels because I could write about those sick, crazy fucks until my fingers fell off. What you should know though, is the cartels were responsible for bringing cocaine  into the United States through several avenues from South America. The cartels are as powerful as they are ultra fucking violent, but at the end of the day they are stone cold businessmen. And as any good businessmen, they kept their ears to the streets, their eyes on their market, and they noticed something astounding going on with their neighbors to the north, we were doing their job for them.

   While we were fighting the endless War on Drugs here in the US, we were simultaneously supplying the American people with drugs on drugs on drugs. Yes sir, we dishing out heroin, drown sugar, the dragon, whatever you want to call it, like it was fun size candy on Halloween. We were supplying our own war. Heroin was first developed as medicine and was widely used for years in the medical field to treat serious ailments and injuries. After some time doctors began to see how damaging heroin was in the long run for the patients, so they began to seek an alternative. Enter fentanyl and synthetic opioids. The pharmaceutical companies engineered heroin in a lab, gave it different names, tested it out on people, and started supplying. Big pharma started slinging dope on an epic level like the cold mother fuckers they are. Treating chronic pain with fucking heroin with a marked up sticker price and calling it medicine.They were giving medicine to the people that only numbs their pain temporarily, basically by manipulating and rushing the patients nervous system with chemicals, and knowing full well how addictive and deadly these pills are, they made the perfect repeat customer becuaese they engineered junkies. Addicts without the guilt because their dealer was a trusted friend with a degree and an empty oath to guide them on the road to recovery. These devils in disguise caught the eye of another demon, the Cartels. They saw that Americans were addicted in record numbers to their own supply. They noticed kids were not only stealing these drugs from the medicine cabinet and abusing them, but  the doctors were giving these teenagers opioids too. They couldn’t believe that we did their plug work for them and like I said they’re businessmen, they would be foolish not to capitalize on this opportunity. They took control of this situation from its deepest, darkest, most desperate avenue.

   They saw the suburban middle class junkie who had been taking oxy for a back injury that she got from gymnastics two years prior in high school. They noticed that her doctor said “no more pills” after there was no change to her actual condition, because the pills weren’t actually tearing her condition. They noticed that she falls asleep in cold sweats now, and she doesn’t know why she feels this way. They noticed that she wants to feel better no matter how it happens, so they extend their arms to comfort her and  they offer her a remedy, heroin. They notice that she’s skeptical, because she’s a good girl, she sat through the D.A.R.E. classes growing up, she said no to peer pressure, and she tells herself that she’s  not a drug addict. But her pain and these new symptoms are too much, so she buys a bag. She takes it home, and she snorts it as first because she doesn’t know how else to use it. The pain leaves and it’s replaced by euphoria, she’s warm and she’s finally comfortable. Eventually she meets others that are just relieving their pains too, and they show her how to shoot up. The belt is tight on her arm, and she feels the needle’s prick and then she’s in heaven right here on Earth. She’s never felt anything quite like this, but the feeling is fleeting and the pain is returning. “No, don’t go!” She says, as she comes back to reality. She needs more. Belt. Needle. Prick. Heaven. Relief. Heaven is different this time. There’s not as much air as there was on her last visit, her breaths are shallow. She lays down to feel better. She’s getting lost in the patterns in the ceiling tiles. There’s still not enough air. She begins to feel overwhelmed and nauseous. She vomits. She chokes on it, and she dies violently and alone. Her father comes home from work with dinner for the both of them, her favorite, a chicken burrito bowl. He yells from atop the stairs for her to come up and eat. Five minutes pass and still she’s not at the table. He says jokingly ”You better wake your lazy butt up!” He knocks on her door. No answer. He knocks again. No sound whatsoever. He’s concerned, and he enters the room. He’s face to face with his dead child.

   Statistically speaking, that happened 49,068 times in America last year from opioids alone.

   That number grows steadily every single year, and yet we are still not talking about this epidemic. We are still debating the legalization of marijuana and other trivial bullshit instead of doing something about this. I think we are silent because of how disheartening it is to actually acknowledge how fundamentally fucked up our health care system is, and realize that these dead sons and daughters, brothers and sisters are just viewed as lost business to the pharmaceutical companies and the Cartels. On the other hand they can just sling some antidepressants to the Daddy that found his baby girl blue, cold, and unresponsive, Lord knows he’ll need them. And just like that business is still booming.

    I wish I had a solution to end this article with, but unfortunately I don’t know how to take on the largest and most corrupt industry in this country. The only thing I can offer is a helping hand to anyone who may be struggling with addiction, because I’ve seen too many people, too many loved ones, too many young, charismatic, beautiful souls go before their time because of this nightmare that we are plagued with. I’ve seen addiction tear someone I loved so very much to his lowest level right before my own eyes, and deny help over and over again because the drugs were better than reality. The same drugs that we have a supposed war against, are still taking people by the hundreds daily. So please be a voice for this epidemic, spread awareness, and get on the correct side of this war.



   

The Star Spangled Controversy

     Welcome to the latest and greatest American debate of 2018 folks. With all of the turmoil currently going down in this country, which topic should we the people be up in arms about today? Well let's see, we have a nation more divided politically than I have ever seen in my lifetime, we are amongst some of the highest racial tensions this country has seen since the 1960's, with issues that extend far beyond (yet still encompassing) just the age old black and white, but are now involving illegal immigrants and whether or not they may seek refuge in this country, this in and of itself is one of the main reasons people hate our current president and have deemed him a bigot. We have cities like Chicago that by the month of September has already had 374 homicides. We are shedding the idea of only being a man or a woman, and ostracizing anyone who doesn't agree with that sentiment as an ignorant hate monger. We have a gun control debate so fierce that some Americans are preparing for a war for their weapons against the U.S. government. All of this is going on around us, it's crystal clear, these problems are pronounced and evident, the uproar is loud and it is present, but instead of trying to put some water on this dumpster fire that we are all living in, we are wasting our energy arguing about whether or not a shoe manufacturer did the right thing by supporting an athlete's decision to kneel during the national anthem. In case you haven't heard the saucy details of this groundbreaking story, then you better put on your seat belts and hold on as tight as you can, because this shit is heavy son.

     Here it goes, the former quarterback of the San Francisco 49er’s Colin Kapernick (yeah the guy that knelt during the national anthem) made a commercial with Nike (yeah the shoes on your feet) and everybody lost their goddamn minds. OK, there's a little bit more to it than just that but let’s take a moment and break that previous sentence down shall we? A professional athlete who is in essence just a highly paid entertainer made a commercial with some people that make shoes, the people who make the shoes said "We agree with Kaepernick's decision to protest." And with those infamous words heard 'round the world some true patriots began to set their footwear ablaze, and somehow it seems the rest of the goddamn world has gone up in smoke too.


       Let's talk about August 26, 2016, The San Francisco  49er's were playing a pre-season game against the The Green Bay Packers, and as everyone else stood for the playing of The National Anthem, hands over their hearts and heads held high, Mr. Kaepernick remained seated. Obviously this drew some major attention to the quarterback, which was undeniably his goal, and after the game he was given a chance to explain his actions. He stated that he “did not want to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.” That’s a powerful statement, but we’ll get more into that later. One of the main injustices that Mr. Kaepernick is protesting against is the number of black men, women, and children gunned down by police in this country. Kapernick along with many others believe these shootings to be purely racially biased. And if you’ve watched any major news outlet in the last five years, you’ve seen these stories come in droves, you’ve seen the riots against the police, and you’ve most likely developed your own stance on whether or not these shootings were executed purely on behalf of the color of the victims skin. Now no matter which end of that spectrum you find yourself on, that’s a topic that deserves to be dealt with, but that’s not where our focus lies, and that’s a huge fucking problem. We are now so focused on an American citizens peaceful protest (yes, I said it! It’s a peaceful protest) and whether or not he has the right to execute said protest. He absolutely fucking does have the right to remain seated seated during our National Anthem, (and a still hush falls over part of the room) it’s his Anthem too (whether he likes it or not) and he can choose to do whatever he pleases when it is being played. That’s one of his liberty’s in this great country, but the real question that has all of us in deferent cages frothing at the mouth and gnawing at the bars is, “Is his protest that of nobility, hatred, racism, or ignorance?”

     If you ask me, it is a protest of ignorance (another still hush falls over the other half of the room) from someone trying to be noble in their own eyes. I say ignorance because the Star Spangled Banner was not written to represent the country that Mr. Kapernick and all the others who kneel during it’s playing are protesting, it was written to honor the spirit and valor of the men who died protecting that very banner and the very goddamn liberties that they are using on a very public platform. Some don’t know this but there are 3 other verses to our National Anthem that we do not sing at the beginning of our sporting events, and if you’d oblige me I’d like to share them with you.

    “ On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam, In full glory reflected now shines in the stream, 'Tis the star-spangled banner - O long may it wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!  And where is that band who so vauntingly swore, That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion A home and a Country should leave us no more? Their blood has wash'd  out their foul footstep's pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave, And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.  O thus be it ever when freemen shall stand Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation! Blest with vict'ry and peace may the heav'n rescued land Praise the power that hath made and preserv'd us a nation! Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, And this be our motto - "In God is our trust,"  And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

    Those words are the memories of a man who watched the carnage of war unfold before his very eyes, and through insurmountable odds and vicious bloodshed, he witnessed hope and victory emerge through the hearts of men that believed in freedom. When Francis Scott Key saw that the flag was still there, meaning that the men fighting for the freedoms that the flag does represent never gave way to defeat. Francis Scott Key didn’t write that song for it to become the National Anthem of the United States, he wrote it for the warriors, the ones that walked away and the ones that didn’t. So when I hear Mr. Kapernick say that he doesn’t want to stand for a song about those who gave him his freedoms, I’d honestly like to tell him to eat shit, but I cannot be a hypocrite and try to strip him of the same liberties and freedoms that I’m exercising to write this very article. Instead, I ask of him and anyone else who kneels during that song to remember the true meaning, and that in the future we strive to become activists of real change for the real problems we have in this country, instead of the agendas of entertainers, pop culture journalists, politicians, and fashion moguls. I encourage everyone to challenge and question everything, and if throughout that endeavor you find injustice in this country then by all means do what you  can to make a change, just for the love of God, articulate yourselves so you don’t become just another bandwagon revolutionary.

     

“I’m strapped up, fuck a gun law
See me walking with a limp, that’s my gun walk, I don’t do no arguing, I let the guns talk
I’m strapped up, fuck a gun law” - Lil Wayne 2013.



   In the midst of another tragic shooting, we find ourselves still stuck in the revolving door that is the gun control debate. Tragedy after tragedy, lives upon lives lost, years wasted, and we are still making no head way in finding a solution. I believe that’s because we are seeking regulations to control evil, instead of rebuilding what we let the evil destroy in our society. We need societal reform, not gun reform.

    Read the song lyrics above one more time. Now before you jump down my throat for using Lil Wayne as a reputable source in my argument regarding gun control, hear me out. The lyrics are explicit about his ability to have a firearm, and using it to commit murder, with or without fear of a new or existing law. In other words, “Fuck a gun law.” This is from a man, who has made his livelihood by capitalizing on romancing the criminal lifestyle. Don’t get me twisted now, I’m not knocking Lil Wayne or hip hop, I’m definitely not on the “Gangster Rap made them do it” side of the fence, people make their own paths in life. I’m just using what most might see as an unnoticed lyric, from an overlooked rap song, as a surprisingly prolific yet backhanded proof that more laws are not what we need. Laws are set in place to be a warning to those abiding by them, for fear of the consequences of breaking them. But if you don’t fear the consequence, then there’s no need to play by the rules. To elaborate, criminals don’t care about regulations, “Fuck a gun law.”

   I’m sickened by the idea of children being gunned down in schools. I’m disgusted at the thought of some hate fueled animal murdering people who are just trying to have a good time in a night club. I remember my mother crying when the students of Columbine had been killed. I understand and acknowledge that we have a problem, and I’m an advocate for change. However, I’ll say it again, the change we need is societal reform, that’s the kind of change that can fix senseless violence. We live in a time of evident depravity, yet we are still surprised by acts of blatant disregard for human life. And when lives are taken we blame the medium that the killer used, not the killer. That’s illogical. I believe that’s because as a society, and as a culture we are afraid to get introspective, for fear of what we might find. If we look inside ourselves, and examine how we operate, we would find some shit that definitely needs work. For example we treat mental illness with numbing drugs, as if to just sweep the problem under the rug. Out of sight, out of mind, that’s the motto. If we don’t have to see it then there’s nothing to deal with. That is until that patient has a mental breakdown, the drugs stop working, and they make an irrational decision because the chemicals in their brain are so far imbalanced they’ve lost touch. We don’t discipline our children when they talk back and disrespect us, for fear of hurting their feelings. Then they learn that they can speak to and treat people however they want, without regard for the implications their words and behaviors might have on their peers, their inferiors, or their elders. We don’t value or teach respect anymore, but dammit we still want it.

    I know that if you made it this far, this has been a long winded interruption from looking at memes, and I thank you for reading this. I just implore you to look away from the arguments for gun control that the media is pushing, and think of a way we can better ourselves, so that we may stop putting each other in the ground. More laws won’t work, we’ve tried that before (the war on drugs, prohibition, etc.) and it failed. Evil cannot be controlled or destroyed entirely, but by brute and unrelenting force, and hearts that beat with ferocity to watch out and provide care for your fellow man, evil sure as hell can be terrified to rear it’s ugly head, anywhere near those brave enough to beat it down.

Commercializing the Counter Culture 

     Defiance of the norm has always been the true meaning of cool, and everyone wants to be cool. There's a reason why the James Deans and the Johnny Cash's of this world will forever be immortalized as borderline deity's among the rest of us, it was their blatant disregard for what society wanted them to be, they seized their moment and became legends. The list of rebellious idols most certainly does not begin and end with James Dean and Johnny Cash, the list dates back as far as we can trace our history. There have been rebellious icons such as William Wallace, Poncho Villa, and our Founding Fathers who are remembered for challenging tyrannical governments by brute force and violence. There were peace oriented rebels such as Dr. Martin Luther King who believed in a time of hate and oppression, that love for our fellow man was the answer. We've seen pop-culture icons such as The Beatles lay the ground work for generations of future musicians by creating true and vulnerable art. Last but not least, the most important rebels I've personally ever encountered were the long haired, tatted up, pierced degenerates that listened to crude punk rock and treated skateboarding as a religion and not a hobby. I was first introduced to this grungy, sub-culture of misfits in the summer of 1999.

     I was six years old the first time I heard blink-182. I was in my oldest sisters convertible
Miata with the top down, blaring Enema of the State and singing along (cuss words and all) on a beautiful Colorado evening. I remember the way it felt outside, I remember the way the sun was setting, I remember it feeling like we were going a thousand miles an hour, I remember the songs playing so loud that the stock speakers in this Mazda sounded like they were about to explode, I remember feeling my first connection with music that night. My sister had taken me out of the house because my parents were in one of their vicious fights with each other, she saw that I was scared of the anger and becoming angry myself. So she picked me up, threw me in the car, and we were off. She put the CD in and told me "Jav, you can't let Mom and Dad know that I let you listen to this. OK?" Of course I agreed! I was in the cool kid club now doing shit I wasn't supposed to be doing with my big sister, I was flying high all of the sudden. The sadness I had felt before was lifting, and with every passing song, I felt this connection with the music that was so raw and unfiltered that at that moment I knew why it was cool to be bad.

     Why is going against the grain so satisfying? Is it the freedom from rules that once controlled you? Is it the sudden validation of your own persona? Is it because at that moment you feel your first sense of originality? Whatever the reason may be for this euphoric feeling, just know it is not one to be ignored, and that nothing compares. There is no top shelf bottle of booze, there is no drug, nor any pill that recreates this feeling. And if you have not felt it yet then you have not lived my friend. This is how we step into our own path, by breaking the one that was earlier determined for us.

     So there I was a six year old with a new found love for songs about sex, drugs, and challenging authority. That’s a pretty drastic change from the singing cucumber I had been listening to on veggie tales up to this point in my life. It was in that same summer I was introduced to an incredible young man named Brian, who became a prolific part of my growing up. Brian was energy personified, he was young skater from San Diego that was dating my sister. He looked like the cover of Thrasher come to life before me. Brian introduced me to skateboarding and the wonderful sub-culture that this sport had enveloped. I loved how these guys looked, long hair, piercings, tattoos, the baggy torn clothing, all of it. Their look made me want to burn my white tube socks and Gap t-shitrts. I was enamored with the way they spoke, their slang was like a foreign language that I had to become fluent in myself.  I wanted to be one of them so bad it hurt, but my parents weren’t ready to see their son in the First Grade become a skater punk over night (and I don’t blame them). But them trying to push me away from that scene just set in motion the, as I like to call it, “the wet paint syndrome” where you tell a child not to something with such ferocity that the temptation only grows.

     As the years went on I saw skateboarding become less of a frightening aspect to suburbia, and more of a household name. Extreme sports were the new cool, punk rock (or pop punk if you will) was all over the billboard top 40, movies like Jackass made rockstars out of a band of self destructive assholes. America was in love with this sub culture because of its unrelenting originality and truth to ones self. Theses guys were convicted to the ideal of not giving a fuck, and the less they cared about their own image the more we wanted from them, and eventually we did with this ideal what we do best as Americans, we commercialized it and saturated the ever loving shit out of it.


     Before long the edginess of being a skater was dwindled down to nothing more than just another piece of pop-culture. And as I began to grow older I found myself drifting  away from skating more and more, maybe it was the fact that I felt a "hipster-ish" sense of disconnect when it lost its underground appeal, or maybe I was just growing into my own. Whatever the reason, I never lost that sense of rebellion that it had created inside of me, that shit was deeply imbedded in my DNA and there was nothing I could do about it. No matter how much time passes, I still feel an undeniable urge to challenge any opposing sense of authority, and take everything I’m told with a skeptical grain of salt. Now don’t get me wrong these cynical character traits of mine have gotten me in more trouble than I’d like to admit, but I wouldn’t trade a single moment for a life more timid or mild. 


     A rebellious spirit is a gift. I've carried that phrase with me for years, through thick and thin like it was a precious heirloom. A dear friend of mine told me that when I was an eighteen year-old on the down and outs, and I was confused as to how a shitty attitude towards the world could possibly be a gift. He explained to me that the reason that having a truly rebellious spirit is a blessing, is due to the simple duality that some of us are born to conform, and others have the ability to see the path that life has laid before us and defiantly make our own. Some of us our not meant for picket fences, some of are a bit more "Office Space" than we are "The Office", some of us feel like we're at the climax of the "Truman Show" and we must set out on our own. All major progress throughout history has been made by those who stood unafraid with firmly planted feet and clenched fists raised high and proud against what they felt stood in the way of their own personal progress, but I'm very afraid that we are losing our footing, we've loss the fire in our belly's, and the trail-blazers have lost their way. 


     I look around and I see a young generation full of potential that has been convinced that conformity is cool. It's only acceptable to stand up for beliefs that infringe on the freedoms of others, our rebels today are nothing more than weak-hearted bitches disguised as martyrs begging pathetically for acceptance. We've commercialized our counter cultures so fucking hard that there is nothing left. Every ideal that is pushed upon us is a candy-coated agenda that is packaged to look like progress, when in all reality we are only limiting our own liberties. I know I spent a large chunk of this article writing my "coming of age" tale, and the reason I went into such detail about my first connections with punk-rock, the metaphoric highs that I caught on stepping out against rules and standards I found to be meaningless, the abstract and out of the box heroes that I emulated as a kid, and the overall "fuck the world" mentality that I tend to have is because all of these experiences gave me the posture and the backbone I have today to speak my mind without fear.  I want nothing more than to promote a culture of free thinking individuals unafraid to make a better life for themselves. All in all, I’m not trying to preach to you from my soap box, saying that anyone reading this needs to grow out their hair, listen to slayer, and have a “Into the Wild” type come to Jesus moment and become a full blown nihilist. What I’m trying to convey through all of these elaborate analogies and drawn out stories, is simply this, with each passing day we become more under the thumb of political correctness and the walls that restrict what we say and do are caving in rapidly. We have but one truly free domain left, and that is our minds, that’s all that we have control over. So I beg of you  to no longer be afraid, to no longer be silent, to no longer be docile, let fear no longer consume your expression.