The Caring Conundrum  

By: Javan Bair

The human experience. Each one is an individual set of circumstances and trials that has cinematic potential. The pain, the pleasure, the love, the hate, everything is wrapped into this one experience, and it can be so fucking rad if you are willing to let everything life has just wash over you. The interactions we have with each other is the most important and necessary part of being a human. The care and compassion that we are able to share with one another is one the most beautiful parts of this existence. The feeling of providing an act or a service to a person, or a group of people that positively affects them is ultimately fulfilling. But creating impactful and positive change in the lives of others is no simple task. It requires work and dedication. But those requirements do not necessarily align with our contemporary culture of instant gratification. And in the name of immediacy and pleasure, we have taken the most lovely and virtuous of all human values and turned into a cheap plastic commodity.

The world we create around us can be ugly and unforgiving. The constant sea of worry and trouble can drag you under with ease. As we strive to create a positive experience on this planet, we are subjected to the constant plight of all mankind as media conglomerates, more often than not, exploit these tribulations as they push out constant droves of content. 

It is difficult to hide the ugliness of the world when it is being projected on high definition screens everywhere you look. Every single day there is a new cause that needs the immediate support of all of humanity. And if you are not ready to take to the streets for this cause, then you are automatically guilty of supporting the opposition, whatever that may entail. But this cause will soon dissipate after making great noise but little crafting little to no change. The picket signs will soon fill dumpsters as new ones are needed to support the next week’s cause. This cycle is slowly chipping away at our abilities to truly care.

Amidst all of this noise, there seems to be two available methods of coping. Apathy is a simple and effective tool for those that want to ignore the world. But empathy is the only effective tool for creating change. But one cannot feel empathy, real empathy toward everything. There is simply too much happening around us to care earnestly for every cause. Associated with nearly every cause, there is both nobility and fraudulence pushing it forward. Those that are seeking change or resolution and those whose identity is encapsulated by leeching off these causes.

I’ll say it again. You cannot care for everything. And when you try to, you become disingenuous and self-righteous, which is even worse than doing nothing at all. There is only so much time allotted during the day for being outwardly commendable.

How are you supposed to care about everything when everything is a mess? Gasoline is $5.00 a gallon. No one can afford to purchase a home in this housing market. Roe V. Wade was dismantled in a sweeping and regressive motion before our eyes. The January 6^th Committee is starting to unveil just how deep the veins of corruption actually run in our government. There is a shortage of baby formula. Mass shootings seem to be rising with the temperatures.  US service members are dying at an alarming rate right here in the US. Police are still killing unarmed citizens. There is vicious war being fought in the Ukraine. And that is just the homepage to your chosen news website. All of that, and you are supposed to wave the flag of each cause all at once, just so you can give the appearance of someone who gives a shit. This is not what caring looks like. This is nothing more than lace curtain virtue signaling. In other words, you’re a fucking fraud and everyone sees through it.

A guide to engaging in contemporary discourse: “How do you not know about insert this week’s hot button topic here?! Do you even care about insert marginalized or victimized group here?!” That is our modern day approach to spreading awareness. We belittle and bemoan those that are unaware. We chastise and guilt the fuck out of one another into caring. 

“Do you even care?” Do you? Because, if you haven’t noticed, we still haven’t fixed the old problems. Just because the media presents you with a new problem, it does not automatically have to become one of your own. Even Jesus was only nailed to one cross (and people still won’t shut up about that guy). You shouldn’t feel the need to virtue signal yourself to a new cause every single week and act like you can support the weight of yet another issue.   

“No War in Ukraine” “Our Bodies, Our Choice” “Black Lives Matter” “No Justice, No Peace” The signs that cover the window of my neighbor’s apartment. At face value, the posters look nice.  These are all causes that any rational person should be able to get behind. But I must wonder of the sincerity. Are my neighbors actually progressive godheads that spend all of their time advocating for each cause the world has to offer or is this simply a way if covering the bases of contemporary caring? Saying to the outside world that walks by their window, “Don’t forget about me. I care too! Look! Look at how much I care!” I have no fear in admitting that it could be cynical to view their posters in this light, but a dash of cynicism is necessary for sifting through bullshit. And we are surrounded by bullshit. However, they could also just be trying to block out the sunlight and spread awareness at the same time. That’s just two birds with one stone. I can dig that kind of ingenuity.

The world is a mess because it houses a species that is a mess. A bunch of humans that crave attention and inclusivity at nearly any cost.

We have virtue signaled ourselves into a corner. It is inherently noble to care about the plight of others. Empathy is one of the portions of our human experience that make this journey so beautiful. The act of devoting oneself to a greater cause is fulfillment that we all seek. But you cannot be the savior to all, no one has that kind of capacity.  Find the things in this life that you are passionate about and pursue them tirelessly. Work unremittingly for the changes you wish to manifest. But do so with heart and sincerity. Anything less is not worth doing at all. Anything less is just an insult to the true capabilities of humans. We can care so deeply for one another if we simply allow our rationale to dictate where our humanitarian efforts should be placed. We have never heard such a constant outcry for change and civility, yet we scream from plastic hearts as we hang on to a mere semblance of real empathy. Be sincere or be nothing at all.